STAR WARS: Lord Sith SO:
by Fantasyficcer
Summary: In this harmless parody of Star Wars and, a spoof on a video an amazing Youtuber did of this series, by mistake. Plagues from the Prince Of Egypt. Google Translation. It is hilarious. I could not help myself. please, look it up. Sith lord So is running from Luke when they land on earth. Luke tracks here there, only to miss her utterly. Tryin to match the lyrics to a fanfic.


STAR WARS: Lord Sith SO:

By, Fantasyficcer:

 **Disclaimer:**

Everything to do with his story isn't owned by me. but...LUCAS! And, A certain Youtube music star. Malinda Kathleen Reese.

 **Author's Note:**

I am doing this simply because, I heard the Plagues google translate she did and, I could NOT help myself. this won't hold any real water with the Star Wars Universe. Watch the watch?v=TLr1_vjdTgs&index=26&list=PLGnYtw5ezZI-xGhQpR5aUX8T1pdgLMYCy

 **Chapter One: And, Pun:**

Aboard the Sith warship, Starburst, Tsurb rats were running rampant. The only way to kill them was to kill them with silverware, specifically spoons. Nobody knew why, it just Sith Lord SO stood in her black, billowing robes, how robes billowed when one was standing still was a mystery to most of the crew. Other than those whom had already died because they knew too much, that was. had to happen that way. The evil Sith sorceress had a condition known throughout the galaxy as...lactose intolerance. but, she loved her bantha blue milk, and the ice cream that look like frozen smurf turds, so much that she made milk shake out of them. She was addicted to the things. And, anybody who brought up the subject of her gas issues, was cut down instantaneously. No could know. In point of fact, the Jedi she called Puke Shittalker, couldn't beat her. Due to her famed wind attacks. She always had to stay aboard her ship, in space. Because, if one farted out in the vacuum of space, well, nobody would care. Start killing things surface side and...everybody made a giant tadoo about it. People would start to bitch about everything, which was alive, now dying. It was insane. She couldn't help the blue shakes. Delish. "Servant!"

"Yes, your grace?" A skinny man in close fitting black robes jabbered nervously.

"Get me a blue shake again! NOW" She commanded. "Oh and, how's the rat issue?"

"I'm sorry, Your grace but...we uh, don't have any. I don't let my people...what!?"

"What? You mean we don't have any rats, why so scared then?" SO did not turn to face the man. "Now, get me another blue bantha shake, now, boy."

the man licked his lips as he sputtered, "Uh...we have rats, nothing running out of those any time soon. I mean, well, we don't have meterals to make a shake with. Not one."

Silence. "Do you like balloons, servant?"

"Your grace?"

"Balloons, do you like balloons, boy?"

"I can barely recall what a balloon is, your grace, I do though seem to remember them from when I was a ki-"

using the force, while still screaming to the others on the ship for more blue shakes, SO broke open an airlock and,, using a string of kinetic force, floated the man behind the ship until there was no more life in him. then, she let him go and fixed the glass of the airlock. He had looked like a balloon on a string. Several guardsmen stood stunned. "Servants?"

"Yes, your grace?" One timid voice squeaked.

"Which sector of space are we in?"

"The milky way galaxy. We are about to fly by a place called...uh...Earth? yes, Earth. Your grace."

""Milky way. There must be milkshakes there." She mused to herself. "At this earth place I mean."

"No certainty they are blue, your grace." She gave the engineer a death glare. "Right away, your grace." He spun to the controls. Soon they landed. "We have landed, your grace."

"I am aware."

"Air seems breathable, indigenous life seems humanoid but, are running about with pointy stick attempting to end one another's lives? I can't tell= oh that's blood. I think it's warfare."

"You landed us in the middle of a humanoid war, servant? Well, I like war but, not when it's this primitive. Let us find these blue milkshakes and leave." She turned to exit the ship.

"your grace, what of the rats? What if they get off the ship?" One of the guardsmen asked plantively.

"Let them- no. Wait, no. No. Because, if the rats on this ship mate with any rats here, Mook Skyfucker will be able to track us that way. We must first squire spoons."

"We used them all, your grace."

"then, we shall steal their spoons." SO made a waving gesture out toward the view screen. Suddenly it sound like a Voridian hail storm. Hundreds of thousands of spoons now covered the ship. Meanwhile, each and, every exorbitance of this place would wonder where their spoons went. That'd be difficult, as the ship ws currently covered by a cloaking device. Now, so were the spoons. So sent the men to c intellect the spoons and, kill the rats aboard the ship. By this time, night had nearly fallen. and, people were screaming.

 **Chapter 2: Plagues:**

"Your grace, people wanted to know if we were these things called proxies." One of the men asked over the screaming in the square. For, apparently, that was where they landed. A city square of some sort. "They also wanted to know if the gods were angry at them. Why would their favorite utensil go missing. In many case their only utensil. A mystery."

"You spoke to the primitives?" SO demanded harshly. The man before was properly cowed, as he should have been.

"While the other men looked for spoons nad, were engaged in combat with the enemy aboard this ship, I went in search of your true objective, blue milkshakes."

"Oh wonderful!" SO shouted in glee. She danced for joy, she clapped her hands.

"Not a drop. Plenty of blue waffles though. Though, they really are not for eating." So glared.

"What did they want to know we were, proxies?"

"yes, your grace. They wanted to know if we were something called the seven, or nine plagues. My translator was on the frits. There one girl babbling about being invited to have sex with a sheep by her sister, and, another girl who seemed disappointed she did not dream about cowbody last night nad, another winning about judging people. It was perplexing. I saw one girl telling a man not to sin to a pie. he did it anyway. Then, there was something about Mahali having a security service." He shrugged. "Odd." SO snarled.

SO marched out into the city proper. "This is a lamp!" A man babbled in glee.

"I have a glass." A girl ran by her shouting in delight.

several people were crying in the streets, sobbing about the shortage of spoons. Why had the gods suddenly wrought this madness upon them all. more people killed other people. "You want a plague, I will show you all what a real plague is." She lifted her robes and, turned all of, what woudl be known as Egypt here onward, into a desert. "Take that!"

"Keep your cats at home!" Somebody screamed."

At that point, SO decided that her google translator was broken. She got aboard her ship and, left Earth. Never to return.

 **chapter 3: Tracked:**

Luke Skywalker had tracked SO down, the woman was dangerously insane. She needed to be stopped. After landing in Egypt, he observed some odd things. Apparent inscest was on the rise, babies were laughing at carrots, and setting fire to random buildings. The only thing he cold think to do was scratch his head. "what is happening to these people?"

"I want everything." A girl informed him as he walked the streets of the city, trying to figure out what was going on.

"I'll give you a Heavenly paradise." A prostitute informed Luke.

"No, but, thanks." Luke kindly smiled. Speaking of, I need to get that book back from Ben I let him borrow. "your automotive introduction engineering." Damn engine was starting to crack under the ole pressure again. A very large man stepped out of an ally way and, demanded money. Or, he'd break Luke's legs. "I doubt I have your currency, uh..."

"gus." The big man snarled. He pulled a knife.

Luke just shrugged. he didn't want to kill these people so, he spent it. Every credit he had on him. apparently the man thought it looked good enough and, he walked off.

"Whatever makes ya happy, big guy." Luke muttered, miffed. A sudden screaming of hoes and, human alike sent Luke diving to one side. A flaming cart horse sent fire and, pedestrians scattering everywhere. Luke decided that he had had more than enough of this place. he went back to his cloaked ship. He went to get a can of water out of the vending machine on the ship and, it said, please select specific credit card. It had been stolen too, Luke discovered as he checked his pockets. he swore loudly at this. "Oh poodoo!"

"Subscriber?" The computer asked.

"that's what I want." Luke cried for a while before saying yes. And, the ship lurched to life, taking him out of orbit. He went, made himself dinner, his sandwich looked like it was glowing due to the lighting of the ship, and, he went home to Ben. Lisa would care about the city he visited. So, after lunch nad, on route, he called her. An add popped up.

"Delete all problems by purchasing this lovely blue lamp!"

"No!" Luke shouted. "I have no more money!" He still coudn't believe he was mugged by a guy named Gus.

"How are you with me?" Lisa said from the phone suddenly.

"What was that? You cut there for a second." Luke asked. "If you meant to ask me how I am, I am upset. Because, everything is wrong."

"What's up?" Lisa asked.

"I am mostly out of money. All, actually. A guy named Gus stole it all from me on a place called Dearth. Tracking SO is getting to be a pain."

"We could still send butterfly and, give a kiss." Lisa said, this being a code word for a bomb they could pin to her ship. unnoticed.

"Lisa, I am trying to come with a non lethal solution here." Luke sighed. "We have been working with one another long enough to know that much about each other."

"She got away from you. And, some guy named Gus stole your money. Well, potato. I didn't expect that."

"Neither did I. Look, lets talk about something else for now. How goes the galactic officer's benefit dinner?"

"I'm debating which sheets I should put down." Sheets meant massive durasteel platters of something. Like vegetables. "I like all vegetables. Doesn't mean the officers will. three sheets?"

"there's no mistake there." Luke agreed.

"there will be a spoon shortage." then she went on. "I guess we don't really need spoons for that."

"Nah." Luke nodded. "I just hope that, if you say the chimney will be there, he doesn't smoe that damnable pipe."

"Why do you sing another's song?" I just got that order by Lord bob."

"I remember him. He made that glass scarf."

"yeah. Whom they supposed to impress, I don't know."

"Hang on, Luke. My Husband is leaving. I gotta say goodbye."

"You call me, Father?" Ben chimed in. Now the call was a three way.

"I- no. I didn't, Ben, how are you though? Now that you are here."

"Buy some ball coverings for the holidays!" An add chimed in. It disrupted Ben's signal and...he was disconnected.

"Do you really hate me!" Luke screamed at the air all about him in the cockpit.

"I don't hate you." Lisa said, coming back into the call.

A sudden alarm rang out. Luke gasped. "it's her."

"Are you grabbing this?" Lisa asked.

"Sure! Who else is gonna." Luke shrugged.

"I joined the group when you were away, Lisa." Ben came back into the call.

"Oh, Ben, hi. If your Father dies I will send flowers."

"What? Why?"

"Why the flowers or..."

"No, what's Dad doing?"

"Oh! he's going on a suicide mission."

"Dad, my Girlfriend, Lisa and, I talked this over. You were there, remember what I said?" What we ALL said?"

"I- head- how- bless the congress!" Luke said, breaking up all over hte place.

"Huh?" Lisa and, Ben said in unison.

"China will never grow. He gotta put it there." luke said. "Together."

"Right," Ben said.

"I know how to deflect her electricity now though."

"Nah." Ben said.

"Come on!" Luke shouted.

"Yeah, I'd have let you go." Lisa shrugged.

"really," Ben asked, shocked.

"Sweet!" Luke said, as he hunned his engines. Chasing Sith Lord SO! the chicken!


End file.
